Authenticity - Crossroads

Authenticity refers to one’s ability to be genuine and honest with self and others.  It is a condition for closeness and intimacy.  When we choose to live life authentically, our values and goals are very much our own and are not based on the values of others.  We are flexible to the ideas and preferences of others without being defensive.  We say and do what we think is right regardless of what others think or how they react.  We communicate our wants and needs in ways that promote understanding, honesty, respect, connectedness, and belonging.  We are open to change.

Sometimes we come to therapy when we bump up against our authentic selves in our relationships with others. Sometimes this happens when we express ourselves honestly but instead of being accepted for who we are, we are judged, criticized, ignored, ridiculed, bullied, intimidated, shamed, blamed, ostracized, shunned, and rejected.  We may learn to live in the shadows, side-stepping the issues and avoiding crucial conversations in order to stay safe in mind, spirit, and body.  We may begin to feel like we're out of touch with our feelings and disconnected from others.  The longer we silence our truth, the harder it is to respond to others in genuine, healthy ways.

When we make a commitment to ourselves to be who we are, we may develop the strength and courage to face and work through the uncomfortable truths of our lives.  With time, we may learn to live with our choices, set and maintain healthy relationship boundaries; and relinquish that which we cannot control, embracing what is positive and good.  As we move forward, we carry with us our new-found awareness and insights.